If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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