Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
