Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
