I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
