I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
