you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
