I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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