Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
