I must be too annoying 4 u.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
