I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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