I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
