Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
