Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
