Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had to cum in my sink.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
