We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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