I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
