just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
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Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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