'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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