is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
