yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
