my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
