Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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