i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
