Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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