I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
