Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
