wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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