Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Randomize
