I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
