Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
