I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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