areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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