just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need a beard to bite.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
