So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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