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i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
