Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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