Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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