She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
