Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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