Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This baby is an asshole
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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