I wish I only lived at night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
