Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
