She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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