There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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