It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
