Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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