this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
