singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
