those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
