just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
