I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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