I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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